Breathe Lily, Just Breathe
by NutMegg
Summary: Songfic to Breathe 2 AM by Anna Nalick. Lily finds out she's pregnant and plans to get it aborted. Will she change her mind? Or will she go through with it? Angsty. I do NOT support abortion, but I am pro-choice. See authors note if this is confusing.


A/N: Flames? Yea, they're welcome sure!

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,_

_"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?_

_I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season_

_"Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes_

_Like they have any right at all to criticize,_

_Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason_

"Alice? Alice, I messed up." Lily sobbed through the phone. Alice pressed it harder to her ear, concern for her friend filling her usually cheery face.

"Lily, what happened."

"Alice-I… Alice, I'm pregnant." Lily whispered.

"Oh no… So what are you going to do?" Alice's eyes filled with tears at the prospect of her nineteen year old friend carrying a child for nine months.

"I-I'm totally a-against it, but -but I have to get rid of it." Through the phone it was hard to tell exactly what she was saying, but the words surprised Alice. Lily? Abort her own child? That didn't sound much like her…

"We'll go in the morning."

"Than-thanks for understanding Alice."

"Lily, who's the father?" The thought occurred to Alice later than it should have, but since Lily never made it publicly known when she was dating someone, this was big news.

"J-James."

_'Cause you can't jump the track, __we're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button girl,_

_So cradle your head in your hands_

_And breathe... just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe_

Lily's head was in her hands, her elbows resting on the windowsill dejectedly, concentrating only on the amounts of oxygen she was taking from the air around her. She wasn't old enough for this. She'd had dreams, plans for the future, plans for a big white wedding, fairytale, and a house with little children running around. But that was in her thirties, if not a little later. She wasn't even drinking age yet, not yet…

Someone thumped down the stairs noisily. Lily jumped startled from her view of Diagon Alley. She turned to face the person, and saw the father of the little thing in her stomach staring down at her.

His face pulled up in a smirk, and he opened his mouth.

"Hey Lily." He said, completely oblivious. Why wouldn't he be? Unless Alice had told him…? But she wouldn't. Alice wasn't like that.

"James. I'm pregnant." She told him straight on, unblinking.

His smile faltered as he registered, and went from confusion to… well… angry confusion.

"Are you sure." His tone was flat, lifeless.

"Yes."

"What-How-What are you going to do?"

"I'm gett-getting rid of it in the morning." She told him, blinking back tears.

He seemed taken aback, and looked at her angrily.

"Why?"

"I'm too young for this James! I'm still in Auror training! This will ruin my future! I can't let it get any further along!" He walked away without another word, pulling back and turning his face away from her.

_May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss_

_"__Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,_

_"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year._

_"Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,_

_But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,_

_Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it._

James sat in the tavern that was the Leaky Cauldron, drinking firewisky after firewisky, each time feeling a little more fuzzy than the last, but always thinking.

He'd gotten Lily pregnant, just that one night that they'd decided to… you know… do it. He'd gotten her pregnant, and now she was getting rid of the evidence, the child that should be theirs to raise? Lily was right in the fact that we're too young, but I can't kill my kid.

He gulped down another firewisky, adding it to the stack next to him, and snapping his fingers at Tom for another.

_Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table._

_No one can find the rewind button, boys,_

_So cradle your head in your hands,_

_And breathe... just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe_

Alice paced around her room, her thoughts spinning in ways that she couldn't imagine, ways she never thought possible. Her old, responsible friend from school was pregnant with someone she wasn't even dating, nor was she close to him, but how was Alice to know? She'd lost most contact with her friends since school ended, because they'd spread out so far. Lily, James, and herself were the closest three, and even then they were still pretty far. Tonight had been the first time Lily had called her in weeks, maybe months. But Alice knew she needed the support now more than ever, so she'd do this for her friend._There's a light at each end of this tunnel,_

_You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out_

_And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again_

_If you only try turning around._

Lily cried. She cried as they waited in the waiting room, cried as Alice filled in the paperwork, cried even as the nurse led them into the room, and cried up until the time the doctor pulled the door open and walked in, a long needle in his hands. The moment she saw the needle however, the waterworks halted, because Lily had realized something.

She wasn't going to kill her child.

Without a word, she jumped off the table, wretched the door open, and ran, out an emergency door, ignoring the alarm, and the shouts that followed her, and ran straight to a park near the doctors office. She smiled to herself and sang the whole way, excited about the prospect, though later she'd regret it.

She hadn't killed it, she wasn't a murderer, and she'd turn her life around, one way or another.

_2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song_

_If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,_

_Threatening the life it belongs to_

_And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd_

_Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud_

_And I know that you'll use them, however you want to_

James wrote franticly, his tears smudging the paper. Writing about his recent discovery, about the fact that they were killing their child, that his child was probably already dead. And then he stopped.

James stopped writing because Lily ran into his room and threw herself at him, shouting over and over, 'I didn't, I didn't kill it!' and then the song that was playing out on the paper changed from angst, to the happiest song he'd ever written.

Because this was the happiest thing that had ever happened to him.

_But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable__,_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button now_

_Sing it if you understand_

_And breathe, just breathe_

_woah breathe, just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe._

Alice had known. She'd known Lily wouldn't go through with it. Known that she wouldn't kill her child. She'd handed the doctor his check, and without a second thought ran after Lily, though she used the front doors. And then Alice saw her, spinning in the normal London rain that usually fell from the sky, a euphoric smile playing on her lips, which moved in time with the words currently playing in Alice's mind. And right then, Alice heard something she hadn't heard since sixth year, when Rena McCoy had made fun of Lily.

She heard Lily singing.

A/N: Likey? Hatey? Either way, I love this song! Breathe, 2 AM by Anna Nalick!

A/N: (edit, about the pro-choice abortion thing.) Don't read if you don't care!

So guys, when I say I'm against abortion, I mean that I think everyone has a right to live, and I would NEVER do that, but when I say I'm pro-choice, I meant that I can't-and the goverment can't (or shouldn't in my mind)-control peoples lives like that. Say if a person is my age (13) and they get pregnant (stupidly) then getting an abortion wouldn't be that bad, would it? Again: Not saying I would do it, or that I think that fetus's should just be killed left and right, but if the girl is that young, she could DIE in childbirth AS WELL as the child. And even if they both live, she would just basically be handing of the child to her parents, or she would be dropping out of school to take care of it, because I know that there is no way that I'd be able to juggle a kid as well as school and band and softball and all that. So if you think that my definition, and the way I see it is wrong, or weird, then PM me, because I'll be happy to explain it further.

On a slightly different note than that, if I'd been Lily in this story, there would have been no chance that I would even consider abortion. Abortion, in my mind, is not a convienence for people who don't want kids, its a lifeline for people who can't take care of them, who would grow up in poverty and in terrible conditions. And I know that there is still the orphanage/adoption thing, but they don't pay the medical bills now do they? So if I were Lily, who sounded like she'd be able to-and probably would have-I would have paid to get the kid adopted.

And I just love the movie Juno...

Thanks for reading,

NutMegg

I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THE LYRICS IN ITALICS, NOR THE CHARACTERS, ONLY THE PLOT OF THIS FANFICTION.


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